voices. Never before have regular people had the means to communicate
their views to such a large and diverse audience. In fact, before the
Net came along, the power to publish lay in the hands of a few
powerful media companies alone. The best that you or I could hope for
was to find that our letter to the editor had made the cut.
The technology of the Net allowed anyone and everyone to publish
their views. From Usenet, to The Well, to a choice of thousands of
discussion lists and groups - millions of people discovered the joys
of raising their voices online.
Within this new culture, a premium was placed on voices that had a
unique and authentic character. That was how people stood out within
a text-based environment. No graphics. Nothing to see. Just words.
And the words that spread furthest were the words that carried the
unmistakable ring of an interesting voice.
The voices that attracted the widest or most attentive audiences did
so not by being loud, but by being interesting. And even being
interesting wasn't enough. There are lots of people out there with
interesting things to say. In addition, you needed to write in a way
that engaged the attention of your readers and always rang true.
This all happened before commerce came to the Web. And during that
period, people developed an uncommon sensitivity to voice online.
When commerce finally came to the Web, the writers or copywriters who
were responsible for writing commercial sites, emails and newsletters
failed to tap into the unique touch and flavor of online writing.
Instead, they simply borrowed their writing styles from what they
knew best - print and broadcast media.
And even today, companies online still don't get it. They still write
their online text in the slick, corporate style of offline writing.
The text of ecommerce has no character, no humanity, no recognizable voice.
This is a problem because your prospects and customers are quick to
ignore and skip over 'dead' text - wherever they see it.
To illustrate the point, here are two ways of talking about the new
Apple iBook laptop computer.
First, here's how Apple pitches it on their site:
The first thing you'll notice is that the iBook weighs just 4.9
pounds - almost 2 pounds lighter than before. You'll also note that
this iBook is appreciably smaller: just 11.2 inches wide, 9.1 inches
deep and 1.35 inches thick. The perfect size and shape to fit in your
backpack or briefcase. Fact is, the new iBook is designed to fit your
life. Fortunately, it's priced so you can still afford to have one.
Starting at $1,299.
With iMovie, iTunes and iTools, the new iBook is designed to work and
play with your digital tools and toys. Fact is, the iBook adds
fun-filled new dimensions to your MP3 player, music CD collection,
digital camera, DV camcorder and personal digital assistant. Your
iBook is right there at the center of it.
We'll forgive the writer for starting two sentences in the same way
with 'Fact is,'. A minor point.
But more telling is the construction and rhythm of the text. Take a
look at the four sentences at the end of the first paragraph.
The perfect size and shape to fit in your backpack or briefcase. Fact
is, the new iBook is designed to fit your life. Fortunately, it's
priced so you can still afford to have one. Starting at $1,299.
The first sentence has 12 words. The second has 11 words. The third
has 11. And the fourth and final sentence has just 3 words.
In other words, you get three sentences of equal weight and emphasis
followed by a very short, final sentence that places focus on the
price, and closes the paragraph on a high note. If you get my drift.
What's the big deal? The construction of the copy reeks of
'professional ad writer'. That's how you write for a print ad or a
catalogue. The construction is too measured, the voice too
commercial. The style is from the offline world where, as a customer,
you're meant simply to pay attention and listen to the message.
By way of comparison, here is an excerpt from an iBook review at epinions.com:
The first iBook was, like the first iMac, trying to make too radical
of a statement. The monstrosity weighed in at nearly 7 pounds. When
opened, it looked like an orange toilet seat. When closed, it looked
like a Hello Kitty purse (especially with that handle!). The colors
Apple picked made it look like a toy more than anything else. It was
underpowered and, despite Apple's greatest efforts, it was still
overpriced. The original iBook became sort of the odd little runt in
Apple's line - like the ugly duckling - and it sold like that too.
Well today is the day the little duckling turns into a beautiful
swan, and BOY whadda swan it is!
True, Apple probably wouldn't have the nerve to publish text like
this - however right the reviewer may be.
But it's not really the content I'm talking about. It's the voice and
the construction - or lack of construction - of the text. This iBook
reviewer writes pretty well, but the text isn't 'self-aware' or
'self-indulgent'. The voice is normal. It's from a regular person
with an interesting opinion.
The text has a strong character that is individual, not commercial.
And that's pretty much what I'm talking about. Real voices online
have character. And for that character to ring true in the online
environment, it has to be authentic, interesting and human. That's
why the 'toilet-seat' intro to the new iBook is so much more
compelling and powerful than the Apple version.
The voice fits with how real people communicate online in a way that
'commercial' writing never can.
And that's a good reason for us all to review our own sites, emails
and newsletters - and check for the power and authenticity of our voices.
Yes, online writers can still be 'professional'. But those
professionals, myself included, have to relearn how we write. We
can't write for print. We have to write for the online environment.
We have to learn to write with a voice that is true to our clients,
true to their customers and true to the culture of communicating
online. (And, of course, true to ourselves.)
*Nick Usborne speaks, writes, and consults on strategic copy issues
for business online.
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