Have fewer reasons for Self Talk

Having less "on your mind"

If you've been to identify the negative self talk
topics, and have been keeping
your Boxes up-to-date, it's likely that you will be noticing that your
negative self talk is already less intrusive.

Your next step is to make things more manageable by dividing your Boxes
into two lists:

1. Action Items: Items about which you can take some form of action
right away.
2. Attitude Items: Everything else. In other words things about which
you cannot take action on ­ or at least cannot do so in the immediate
future. These require a change in how you think about them, hence
"Attitude Items".

This article is about the Action Items.

Procrastinating!

Look at your Action Items. You'll notice that they each require you to
do something… yet you haven't done this! You've been procrastinating:
avoiding, ignoring, delaying and so on. Nevertheless the topics still
play on your mind, even if only in the background, quietly eating away
at your happiness, your peace of mind, and even your vitality.

We procrastinate because we don't have a clear plan or are not motivated
enough ­ or have neither a plan nor motivation.

Mini Action Plans

Not having a clear plan is often the main reason for procrastinating.
For example, let's say you've been putting off painting a door for some
time. You've become quite expert at 'not thinking about it' yet every
time you look at that door you feel uneasy, embarrassed or guilty. And,
of course, the longer you put it off the more daunting and difficult the
task appears to become.

Well… now let's see just what the action steps are in this, by now
onerous, task…

1. Decide on the colour and the number of coats of paint the door
requires (Time required 10 minutes)
2. Decide if the surface needs to be sanded or primed (1 min)
3. Estimate how long the task will take and set aside that time/day (5
mins.)
4. Locate or purchase the materials (60 mins.)
5. Do the job on the designated day (120 mins.)

So the project you've been putting off for so long can be reduced to
just 5 steps and less than 3 ½ hours!

The effect of having a clear plan of action

Now take a moment to consider the difference that having a mini action
plan such as this can make.

Before making the plan, you had "that painting job" as a fuzzy idea in
your mind. A thought that you didn't want to think about, let alone do
something about. Now you have five distinct and clear steps, each of
which can be dealt with separately. You've broken it down into
bite-sized and manageable chunks. It's no longer daunting!

Incidentally, this is one of the main reasons why the NLP Outcome
Technique, which we explore in our NLP Core Skills course, is so
powerful ­ it reduces seemingly daunting tasks into manageable chunks.
Most items on your procrastination list won't need the full NLP Outcome
Technique ­ just the mini action plans ­ however, it would be good to
use it on any major items on your list. There is an article here NLP
OUTCOMES which, while not the same as learning it 'live', would be worth
following.

Action plans for your Action Items

Now go through your own list of Action Items and create a similar mini
action plan for each. It is quite important to actually *write* each
action plan. Trying to mentally keep track of them will simply increase
your negative self talk - defeating the object of the exercise!

Next sort your Action Items into the order in which you will actually
deal with them. Many people find it useful to get the little tasks out
of the way first since they each take less time and you can, therefore,
quite quickly reduce the size of your list ­ and have a lot less to self
talk about.

Next set aside a date and time in your diary/calendar for the first few
of these. And, finally, begin immediately by taking action on one or two
little items ­ just to build a momentum for taking action and reducing
the need for negative self talk!

© 2007 Reg Connolly -